The Power of Pausing
Pump the brakes a bit, it will make for a smoother ride
Hold it now, hit it!
Ok, so gleaning sage advice from the Beastie Boys wasn’t on your 2025 Bingo card, I get it. It’s ok though, because regardless of where it comes from, good advice can be a rare commodity, especially when we’re not always the greatest of listeners, so we may as well take it when it comes.
What advice are we talking about? The power of pausing. Knowing that the chaos of life often hits us at the speed of sound while also coming from any and all directions is not very comforting. Learning how to take a moment to breathe and slow it all down, can go a long way in determining how we handle the challenges around us.
Less impulsive behavior and more rational decision making.
Impulse control, as defined by the American Psychological Association is: the ability to resist an impulse, desire, or temptation and to regulate its translation into action.
In life, as well in our careers, we have to exercise impulse control as best and as often as we can. Be it healthy relationships, emotional well-being, or success in the workplace, the importance of understanding and utilizing impulse control is vital to becoming the best version of ourselves. As are most things in life, this can be easier said than done.
“It's not only moving that creates new starting points. Sometimes all it takes is a subtle shift in perspective, an opening of the mind, an intentional pause and reset, or a new route to start to see new options and new possibilities.”
—Kristin Armstrong Savola, Olympic Gold Medalist
Give yourself a choice
I’m sure we’ve all been in situations where pressing that internal pause button we possess but don’t always use, would be the most prudent thing to do.
Have you ever had a boss address an entire team during the busiest time of year and misquote figures, talk about projects that aren’t relevant to the discussion, or even flat-out lie about the performance of you or a coworker?
I’m willing to bet we’ve all been in situations similar to this at least once during our careers. Being the smart, well-intentioned employee you are, and with nothing but the company’s best interest in mind, your gut instinct would likely be to correct your suddenly inept boss’s mistakes. Especially if you feel like you’ve been personally (and wrongly) attacked.
Without the ability to pause and think about what you’re about to say, the words that would come out of your mouth at that moment could likely be the last words you’d ever say while employed at that company. If you embarrass your boss in front of the entire team and put on blast all of the nonsense you, and everyone else in the room just heard, how do you think that would end for you? My guess is with an escorted trip out of the building with the HR manager in tow.
Don’t be escorted out of the building by an HR manager.
Instead, take a breath and think about the consequences your words, in that moment, could have on your career. Giving into the impulse so as to right a wrong, as noble as it may be, isn’t always the best way forward. We can all benefit greatly from some reflection and introspection in the high pressure moments we face in life.
There are ways to do this and you’ve already got the skills to pause for the cause. You just don’t know how to effectively use them yet.
Employing a Ten Minute Rule when facing the urge to say something that will likely land you in hot water or even burn bridges, is a good place to start. Time has its way of allowing logic to take over and replace the need for instant gratification. Following this rule may very well save your job, a personal friendship, or romantic relationship.
Another way to keep the wrong words from spilling out at the most inopportune times is to simply reward yourself every time you show restraint. Positive reinforcement works very well when you direct it towards others, why not reap the rewards for yourself once in a while?
Impulses and urges are powerful, but so are choices. Understand that giving yourself the choice to exercise impulse control, as opposed to feeling helpless when the need to scream bloody murder from the mountaintops arises, is the most powerful thing you can do for yourself when faced with this issue.
Hammocks and coffee cups
Does the phrase, “read the room” mean anything to you? It should. As we progress through life, we inevitably encounter all types of people in all sorts of situations. Knowing who’s who and what’s what before you decide what to say or how it should be said, may just be the most important thing to determine before taking another step.
For example, let’s say you work in a stuffy, suit and tie, corporation. A company so buttoned up it would make The Bank of America look like Lollapalooza.
Now let’s say that one of your coworkers, we’ll call him Fred, complained often about his workload being too heavy, the lack of support his colleagues and team members showed him, and the ridiculously long hours that he keeps. We all know Fred. I’m sure, to varying degrees, we all identify with, and even empathize with Fred. Heck, maybe some of us are Fred!
Now let’s say that Fred finally had it and decided he was going to take a longer than usual break. We’re not talking about your “Extra cup of coffee” or “I forgot something in my car and need to go down to the garage to get it” longer than usual breaks. No…we’re talking about the I have no you know whats left to give type of break.
Instead, Fred casually walked towards a storage closet, opened the door, and retrieved a bag he had stashed there upon his arrival at the office that morning. Curious glances and side-eyes abound, Fred ignored them all.
Acting as if this was completely normal corporate etiquette, Fred unzipped the bag, unfurled a large hammock, attached it to his desk and proceeded to take a nap.
A hammock. At his desk. A nap.
Tell me, is Fred well versed in “reading the room”? Would you do this in your place of employment? Fred needed to pause AND read the room. He did neither.
The sentiment of the story, and the use of a hammock in an office, are real. The details may have been embellished a bit for the sake of using some creative license, but as you can see, failing to read the room (and failure to pause) can have some weird, yet significant outcomes.
I’m not quite sure what became of Fred.
Personality Check
Whether it be at work or in our private lives, knowing and understanding the types of people we will encounter and collaborate with is paramount to successful interactions with those people.
Sometimes it is hard enough to figure ourselves out, let alone knowing what makes others tick. Be that as it may, it’s imperative we try. But how?
According to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), a self-report questionnaire created in the 1940s by Katherine Briggs and her daughter Isabel Myers, based on Carl Jung’s theory of personality types, there are 16 different types of personalities out there. 16!!
That is more than three starting basketball lineups.
It’s one thing to take in what a high number that is, but it’s another thing entirely to see the various personality types written out in front of you. So, without further ado:
ISTJ: practical, realistic, responsible, enjoys creating an orderly life
ISFJ: friendly, thorough, responsible, considerate, concerned about others
INFJ: insightful, organized, seeks connection through ideas and material possessions
INTJ: independent thinkers, creative, analytical, high standards for themselves and others
ISTP: tolerant, highly independent, quiet observers, interested in cause/effect and values efficiency
ISFP: quiet, creative, friendly, kind, very connected to the present moment, tends to avoid conflicts
INFP: idealistic, curious, flexible, accepting, wants to improve the world
INTP: theoretical, logical, can focus in-depth on an issue, sometimes critical, always analytical
ESTP: spontaneous, outgoing, focused on the present, loves to learn by doing
ESFP: outgoing, exuberant lover of life, flexible, spontaneous, often makes work fun
ENFP: imaginative, confident, enjoys putting creativity to work, craves affirmation but always returns it
ENTP: sharp, outspoken, stimulating, bored by routine, tends to have many projects in the works
ESTJ: decisive, results-focused, may be forceful in implementing plans
ESFJ: warm-hearted, harmony-driven, often sees the best in everyone
ENFJ: empathetic, highly attuned to the feelings and needs of others, very understanding, often a good catalyst for growth
ENTJ: confident, frank, decisive, enjoys long-term planning and goal-setting
Ok, some of these are somewhat interchangeable, so 16 may be slightly pushing it. What this research does show is that people are wildly different from one another. Are we expected to know, identify, and understand all of them? It can’t hurt!
Understanding who we work with and let into our lives can do wonders for our own well being. Obtaining that knowledge will also benefit us when practicing impulse control and reading the rooms we’re in.
When we learn about different personalities it enhances our personal growth by leveraging strengths and working on weaknesses, improves communication by tailoring conversations to different types, it can aid in conflict resolution by diffusing tension and highlighting empathy, and it creates better teamwork by identifying who is best suited for what in the workplace or at home.
Final Thoughts (It’s time to take that breath)
Exercising impulse control, or as we like to say, hitting that proverbial pause button, is a skill, not a science. Being aware of this, and with mindful practice, anyone can learn to hit that button and make choices that lead to better outcomes in life.
Whether it’s giving yourself choices, always staying active and present, reading the room, or understanding the different personalities within your world, even the smallest changes in these aspects can result in the biggest differences in realizing your goal of becoming the best version of yourself.
We invite you to become a part of our growing community so please join our mailing list, bookmark this page, and follow us on social media for more information.
